10 Dec 2023

Albertine has some comparably normal thoughts. She walks into the narrator's room one morning and experi- ences a rush of affection for him. She tells him how clever he is, and swears that she would rather die than leave him. If we asked Albertine why she had suddenly felt this rush of affection, one imagines her pointing to her boyfriend's intellectual or spiritual qualities and we would of course be inclined to believe her, for this is a dominant societal interpretation of the way affection is generated. However, Proust quietly lets us know that the real reason why Albertine feels so much love for her boyfriend is that he has had a very close shave this morning, and that she adores smooth skin. The implication is that his cleverness counts for little in her particular enthusiasm; if he refused to shave ever again, she might leave him tomorrow. This is an inopportune thought. We like to think of love as arising from more profound sources. Albertine might vigorously deny that she had ever felt love because of a close shave, accuse you of perversion for suggesting it and attempt to change the subject. It would be a pity. What can replace a clichetic explanation of our functioning is not an image of perversity, but a broader conception of what is normal. If Albertine accepted that her reactions only demonstrated that a feeling of love can have an extraordi- nary range of origins, some more valid than others, then she might calmly evaluate the foundations of her relation- ship and identify the role which she wished good shaving to play in her emotional life. ~ How Proust Can Change Your Life, Alain de Botton

Yesterday at a quiz, I shared space with a man who was bald, one who could become the perfect example to study Androgenic Alopecia (male pattern baldness), and one who, even in his middle age, has aged reversely and flaunted his amazing set of hair with a ponytail. I come in between. I do experience hair fall, and in the last two weeks, it was severe, probably the most problematic one I have ever seen. If you wouldn't clean my room for two days, it would totally feel like you've come to the humble abode of a Persian cat. In this case, the comparison with the cat makes sense, thanks to the leisurely attitude and the affection for free time and dealing with things in life at my own pace.

The reason behind the problem could be multiple: a poor diet, less exposure to sunlight, not massaging the scalp to have blood flow, stress, etc. Out of all these factors, I realized there's a great fix that I have also done in the past - going bald. If you cannot solve a problem, it probably makes sense to uproot the problem altogether (pun intended). Like many other people who live in my vicinity and with whom I can compare my health, I experience the same weather, water, and a similar lifestyle. But even when these factors are common, why am I gifted with this situation in which the hair on my scalp sheds like it's a cat that has never been groomed?

I've gone bald before. When the 2020 lockdowns started, I was stuck at a place with a friend, and he went bald. A couple of days later, I did the same. I kept doing the same until the middle of 2022. That's when things were coming back to normal, and I also started to have a more active social life. But the phase when I was bald gave me interesting perspectives. I had absolutely no shame and discomfort when I used to socialize, attend e-meetings at work, and most of the time I would not even wear a cap to cover the abnormality that I had chosen to live with. By going bald, you can make someone turn their heads to your heads without doing a thing - how effective!

Imagine a little girl wanting the latest Barbie set like her life depends on it. The parent now picks up the innocent one and places her in the attic, from where the only way to get down is to use a ladder. The kid cannot make any fruitful use of the ladder thanks to her size; the ladder is as useless to her as what she's feeling about her parents. What did she do wrong that her parents cannot even give her the latest Barbie set? Here, the parent used a smart and equally stupid tactic by distracting her from the real issue. If you see parenting lessons and learn a thing or two about child psychology, nobody would recommend such a temporary fix. The implications of which will be carved in her brain forever, and most likely when she grows up she will someday be responsible for the livelihood of a psychologist.

I recommend going bald if you're facing a problem whose solution you don't have or have gone through something really traumatic that has disturbed and affected your movement of pedals with which you were moving the bicycle of life. A form of distraction takes away your focus from the problem. Not to mention the amazing feeling of quite literally feeling lightheadedness. A breakup? Go bald. Financial loss? Go bald. In fact, I think this is the same reason why, in some cultures, people need to go bald when they lose a close one.

There are parts of one's body that we by ourselves, naturally cannot see. The scalp is one, but it's equally the first thing that one notices about you. How ironic is that? We cannot see it, but others see it all the time and based on that, they paint a picture of us.

There's also a lot of emphasis on having hair that look presentable and full and things also should be that way - a black forest that one carries might also be an indicator of social status and gives us a general good impression of someone.

There's also a whole industry of head products that work and don't work, and I'm sure that has been responsible for making some millionaires in the world.

Of course, there was a time back in the days I was also a member of the clan who would aspire for long flaunting hair. I remember putting gel and sometimes water to shape my hair so they would look more attractive. Spoiler alert - nobody complimented them even after all these efforts. So why, in the first place, put so much emphasis, money, and concentration on something that I cannot see in the first place? I'm not saying a healthy set of hair that radiates sublimity and is as good as the shine of a new car is not good, but beyond a point, there are only limited things you can do to take care of them. We all lose hair naturally, and I'm not willing to go through the side effects of trying to go against nature. The only other part of the body that comes to my mind that I cannot see by myself? My behind.

In a couple of days, unless anything goes wrong, I will grow some hair, and it will be spiking and itchy like one of the ends of a Velcro tape. Jean-Paul Sartre wrote a book called "Being and Nothingness" - the spike of hair in three days will be my being, and yet people will conclude that I'm bald, that will be my nothingness.

It will also be unfair to not say that my decision to go bald was just to prove a point in the book I read recently, the one that I've quoted in the beginning of this piece. Be right back, as I put in place a marketing plan to sell perfume using my burnt hair.

Notes for this piece